Every comment seems like a personal attack. I'm sick of this place, but I'm not pleased with myself that I'm so ready to be done. It's a bittersweet feeling. I'm being torn apart. I know I have to exist in this place until May 10th. And I don't want it to be a miserable experience. But I don't care about my classes. I'm worn out being with people. I'm tired of being accountable to people. And I've cried more in the last week than in the last year. I'm unhappy. And I don't want to stay that way, but it's an uphill battle that I'm losing right now. Selfishly, I really just want to be left alone.

I know that this is a problem spiritually. I know that.

My thoughts are constantly with my plans for next year, which still seem to be up in the air despite my certainty as to what I want. I guess I just hate living, because I'm sick and tired of having to think about money all the time, I'm sick of being accountable to people for things - stupid things like social events for Teaching Fellows. I'm 22 years old. I don't want you to tell me that I have to try to be friends with these people when I will never speak to them again.

But that's not at all realistic because there's always red tape, nothing is free, and someone else will always be my boss.

Yeah selfish.

I don't care.