Who Are You? (The Who)

I really have songs from On the Town stuck in my head, but they don't make for a very good post title. Especially since they're completely unrelated. But they're catchy. It's a thoroughly cheesy musical, but that's why I love it. Ask to watch sometime if you love me too.

I chose this blog title because it is a Governor's School-type question, and that is what this blog is about - questions.

Okay, so what I was really thinking about is Area III. Have I explained all this yet? (I just glanced back through my blog and realized I haven't written any of this. So here goes...) So the classes that I'm actually working with this summer are Area III, which is not a class that anyone has heard of unless they have some connection with the NC Governor's School (or perhaps some other GS). Basically, this class seeks to make connections between the concepts students are learning in their subject areas and apply them to personal experience. It's been described as a group counseling class. It's characterized as being a bit touchy-feely. It's probably most like to make a student cry. My Area III experience at GS was profound. I spent a really long time listening to people argue issues that obviously related to faith. And I disagreed with a lot of them. But my instructor tabled the faith aspect of the conversation until one special day. The topic was faith. I had my parents praying for me, my Bible in tow, and I took off for class. There were two other kids in the class who showed up with their Bibles, and we all sat in a row. My instructor came in and told us that it was a little intimidating to see us all with the Bibles on our desks. We started with some ground rules for the conversation. One kid expressed the desire that the conversation wouldn't get too heated. I told him that I had to take this conversation seriously, that my faith determines the way I live my life - it's not to be taken lightly. So he got up and walked out. (We had a standing rule that you could leave if you were uncomfortable in a conversation.) I was a little embarrassed, but better that he walk out than be frustrated all class, because I wasn't going to take the conversation lightly.

Bracing myself for the debate of my life, my instructor told us what we'd be doing. We basically did a round robin - we took turns going around the circle expressing what faith is to us. What we believe, what it entails, and how it plays a part in our lives.

I was a little frustrated by this. I wanted my turn in the spot light to be longer than 3 minutes. I wanted people to realize that I had the Truth. I wanted to convert! But I had to sit there and listen to other people's beliefs.

In hindsight, this was a profound experience. I realized that I needed to hear where other people were coming from. There are times when everyone needs to have a say. I really needed that class, for reasons I didn't come to realize until years later.

This brings me to today. I'm actually teaching some of these classes now. I'm trying to put into practice some of the things I learned when I was a student. And I'm still learning now that I'm observing all these classes. (That's what I do when I don't teach - I just go sit in on other classes.)

I've gotten to the point where I think I'd like to come back and teach Area III. When I graduate and get through grad school to the point where my schedule allows, then I'd like to come back as an instructor. I think I should be able to swing that. I hope so, anyway.

And as I thought about how much Area III has meant to me this summer, I realized that it's challenging me to do something I have struggled with all my life: ask questions. The most challenging part of leading a class, for me, is the debrief. What questions do you ask that guide students to a meaningful application of an activity? How do you phrase things in such a way that the answer is not obvious, that the questions are not leading, and so that it fosters student discussion? I'm practicing asking questions. And it's freakin' hard! I have NEVER been good at asking questions. I think this is something that I've been learning from friends since I got to UNC. And I'm learning it even more this summer. And I look forward to practicing more in the future. Cause I still feel like, unless I've thought through the conversation a good deal, my questions pretty much suck. I really struggle to drive the conversation to that deeper point of thought, unless I've been there before.

But I'm so glad to realize that I'm growing as a person, in one of my most basic weaknesses. How gratifying!