Learn to be Lonely (The Phantom of the Opera)

Learn to Be lonely
Learn how to love life that is lived alone

Learn to be lonely
Life can be lived, life can be loved alone

Loneliness....seems to be on everyone's mind lately. As far as I know, couples are either really making it, like ready to get married (even if it's not official yet) or folks are single. I don't think I know anyone in a new relationship right now. That's not what I sat down to right. I just realized that.

I was talking to a friend yesterday and told her that I don't want to wait until I'm 26 or 27 to get married. She asked why. I had no good reason.

Perhaps the rest of this post will be old news to most of you. I think I've just lived in a girly world for so long that having a boyfriend is a natural thing and obviously something to be desired. So I'm just now processing the "what if that's not right for you right now" issue.

Why do I feel this desperate need to be dating someone right now?

I still have no good reason.

Am I back to that idea that Brad diagnosed as wanting a "default friend"? I think I have those. I have friends that I can call about anything, hang out with whenever, and totally be myself around.

Is it a matter of wanting to show that I care about someone else? Why don't I just do that for my friends now? Why don't I surprise them with little gifts and treats? (Well....I kinda do sometimes.) Why is that not the same in my mind?

And why, throughout this entire conversation with myself, have I not mentioned God? Christ as my bridegroom.

I realized the other day that it upsets me more to think about sinning against other people than it does to think about sinning against God - which is so much more egregious!

I'm sitting her pondering that problem. I'm very upset by that. But I'm not quite sure what to do with it.

Let it simmer....