Aqualung (Jethro Tull)

If you've never heard this song, just take my word for it - it's creepy. Here are some of the lyrics, just to give some indication...

Sitting on a park bench --
Eyeing little girls with bad intent.
Snot running down his nose --
Greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes.
Drying in the cold sun --
Watching as the frilly panties run.
Feeling like a dead duck --
Spitting out pieces of his broken luck.

Yeah....and the music makes it even worse. Well, I only chose this song as the title of this blog because I had a bit of a freaky day at work. I wanted a stalker-ish song, and I already used "Every Move You Make" by Sting. Anyway....on to my story!

So I was working today. Sometime in the afternoon, we got a phone call from the boss's husband that there was a woman sort of driving through the parking lot. If you know anything about this parking lot, you know that it's not someplace you go "cruisin'". So we kind of assumed she was up to no good. My co-worker asked for a description of this woman and the boss's husband simply said, "If it's her, you'll know."

A few minutes later, a woman walked through the door, and I knew. Not trying to be prejudiced, but we serve a certain clientèle. She wasn't it. So I remembered all my shoplifter training. She kept asking me about things "Do you have any of ______?" Where I normally would have gone to check for the customer, I just stood there. I felt so dumb, but I think I did the right thing.

While she was in there, I got bits and pieces of the story of this woman. She had been in the month before looking at baby socks, and spent about 2o minutes on the floor in the back corner of the store (where nobody could see her) dealing with baby socks.

Well, sure enough, she came up to the counter with baby socks. Something about one box having 7 pairs when it should have had 6. So we fixed the socks and then I gift wrapped it for her. She then went on to wander through the rest of the store. So the other girl, who was there the other time when the woman came in, and I kept an eye on her. She spent some time in the back of another room of the store, and then purchased something on that side. (For those of you who haven't been, there are lots of rooms, and lots of places to "hide.")

[I'm sorry - I'm being discreet because it's the web and you never know who's reading....those of you who need to know, know.]

So anyway, this woman left, and apparently drove around the parking lot a bit more. We got her license plate number and all that. Then I got the part of the story that said that last time the woman was in, two guys came in after her (again, not part of our clientèle) and were very interested in baby socks. So we all kept our eyes out for men looking for baby socks.

There was a guy who had been hanging around the store earlier, who looked a little suspicious. As I was on the phone with the boss, he walked in, and it was like a zillions butterflies all flew into and wanted to get out of my stomach all at the same time. It was exhilarating, but terrifying.

To top it all off, a thunderstorm started just then. Every time the thunder clapped, my heart jumped. I was so creeped out by this. My boss was giving me lectures about checking for drugs and watching their movements in case we needed to call the cops. They weren't shoplifting - it appeared some transfer was happening.

Anyway, that was my adventure. I guess it might have been more exciting to be there. But I'll be keeping my eyes peeled for the seemingly sneaky workings of these suspicious persons.

We Are Family (Sister Sledge)

I was just sitting here next to the swiper lady at Lenoir. I heard someone ask for 3 meals – it’s that time of year. Time for those people who don’t have a meal plan to come out of hiding and find those who do and who haven’t used all their meals. It’s a glorious time of community building.

Community.

I remember swiping somebody freshman year at the end of the year when I was said meal-planner-with-extras. Some random guy had positioned himself at the swiper station and just asked if anyone had extra meals. So I swiped him up.

I didn’t think twice about it. He was hungry. My meals were gonna go to waste.

I sat here for a minute thinking “I bet you could get a lot of meals that way…just standing down there and asking if someone has extras.”

Then I wondered, what if the guy I swiped wasn’t really a student. He looked like one, so I wasn’t worried. But what f someone just wanted to get swiped up for some sinister purpose. I could’ve shot up the entire Top of Lenoir – and I would feel horribly guilty for letting him up there in the first place.

Now I realize that this scenario is preposterous. Exams haven’t affected my brain functioning that much. But….it’s interesting to think about.

I trusted him implicitly. I had no qualms with giving him a meal. Cause that’s how our community works. We leave our cell phones and keys on the table in Lenoir. We leave our doors unlocked, if not hanging wide open, when we got to the bathroom or leave to check our laundry. We share public spaces and trust that everyone is just going about their business.

That trust has been violated on other campuses. Virginia Tech students also trusted each other implicitly. But that trust was broken when a student shot up a classroom.

That trust was mildly broken when Eve Carson was tragically killed. Girls can’t stop looking over their shoulders now when they’re out at night.

It’s tragic really.

What about my Governor’s School campus? There must be some level of trust amongst the students and staff this summer. I talked with a friend today about the possible health and safety issues I will face. I’ll have to be on the lookout for eating disorders and depression in my girls. Again, your imagination could go wild with tragic scenarios of a depressed A-student run amuck. It doesn’t do any good to dwell on these “what if”s. But some part of my brain needs to be prepared for these possible realities.

I guess I write all this to say how grateful I am that we have such a sense of trust here at UNC. It’s a massive operation they have going at this institution – a huge community. But I still don’t mind leaving my wallet at the table in Lenoir, or swiping up some random person who needs a meal.

And all that from the echo of “Can I get 3” from the swiper station.

I should go study now.

Learn to be Lonely (The Phantom of the Opera)

Learn to Be lonely
Learn how to love life that is lived alone

Learn to be lonely
Life can be lived, life can be loved alone

Loneliness....seems to be on everyone's mind lately. As far as I know, couples are either really making it, like ready to get married (even if it's not official yet) or folks are single. I don't think I know anyone in a new relationship right now. That's not what I sat down to right. I just realized that.

I was talking to a friend yesterday and told her that I don't want to wait until I'm 26 or 27 to get married. She asked why. I had no good reason.

Perhaps the rest of this post will be old news to most of you. I think I've just lived in a girly world for so long that having a boyfriend is a natural thing and obviously something to be desired. So I'm just now processing the "what if that's not right for you right now" issue.

Why do I feel this desperate need to be dating someone right now?

I still have no good reason.

Am I back to that idea that Brad diagnosed as wanting a "default friend"? I think I have those. I have friends that I can call about anything, hang out with whenever, and totally be myself around.

Is it a matter of wanting to show that I care about someone else? Why don't I just do that for my friends now? Why don't I surprise them with little gifts and treats? (Well....I kinda do sometimes.) Why is that not the same in my mind?

And why, throughout this entire conversation with myself, have I not mentioned God? Christ as my bridegroom.

I realized the other day that it upsets me more to think about sinning against other people than it does to think about sinning against God - which is so much more egregious!

I'm sitting her pondering that problem. I'm very upset by that. But I'm not quite sure what to do with it.

Let it simmer....